I am sorry, Thank you, I love you.

Final School Homily

There are three things that we must learn to say and understand in life. These three things are essential because they are the very things we will say to Christ if we are saved. The first one is the last change we make as individuals. When we see Jesus face to face, if we are saved our first words will be. I am sorry. For at that moment we will understand how much our sins have cost Jesus, exactly what our choices did to Him and just how much He loves us. That He loves us after we see the cost of our sins will be humbling and surprising. The sorrow of that moment will purify us, cleanse us and make us whole. I am sorry.

We shouldn’t wait for that moment for those words to form in our mouths. So today, I tell all of you that I am sorry. In the six years that I have been here I am aware of people I have hurt through my words or in my actions. I am sure there are many I am unaware of the pain, sorrow or frustration I may have caused. For that I am truly sorry. I am sorry that the humanness of Tom Miller interfered with my vocation to show Christ to you. In particular, I want to begin with our school staff, I know this year has been difficult and the last two months culminating in this final week have brought even more sorrow, stress or aggravation into your lives. For that I am sorry. That certainly wasn’t the intention or the desired result. In bumping up against my humanness some of you have encountered my sharp edges. God knows the rectory staff has seen me at my best and at my worst. For all those moments of impatience, sharp words or exaggerated responses I can only offer my apologies and the desire to learn from my mistakes. While you are free to think what you want, I hope you pray for me in the midst of all of that.

To our school families, if I have ever come across as indifferent or unresponsive, please accept my apologies. If my humanness has become a barrier to you living your faith, I am sorry. To our students, many of whom I tease or joke with , my apologies if my words have ever been hurtful or created any sort of doubt or sorrow. I like to joke, and I try to stay in the realm of being goofy, but sometimes what I think is goofy and harmless may not be that way to you. We all live and learn.

To all of our staff, you have affected countless lives. Students, parents and other staff members have experienced your humanness over the years. If there is anyone you need to make amends to, don’t waste time. Time is short. Take this summer to think of anyone you might want to contact or at the very least pray for in the desire to be forgiven and reconciled. I have rarely found that easy, but I know I cannot face Jesus if I lack contrition and the willingness to be accountable for all my thoughts, words and actions. For all of us, if there are people we need to be reconciled with; don’t let time pass without an effort to heal the wound. Doesn’t mean everything is fine or that the wrong is now rendered acceptable, or that you have to be friends. But you have to be willing to see the person as something more than the offender and choose to no longer allow that experience to be the defining moment.

One little footnote, on “I am sorry.” There may be no bigger barrier to our salvation than our own inability to forgive. We will not be able to approach Jesus for forgiveness if we fail to forgive others. We need to remember that we can only seek forgiveness if we are willing to offer it to all who have injured us. That can be one of the most difficult things any of us can do in life. The pain, hurt, humiliation or possible shame associate with someone who has wronged us is powerful. Life is too short to live with grudges. Our grudges give power to people who are unworthy of that influence in our lives. Nothing will ruin our capacity for joy and peace like resentment. The greater the hold of resentment, the less joy will be found in our lives. Let us pray that any resentment is a quick process in our lives and not something we hold onto in a vain effort to protect ourselves from the trials of living. I am sorry. Simple phrase, so essential and so powerful for what comes next because it opens the door for our purpose in life.

I believe that the next thing we say to Jesus is part of what we will experience for eternity. It is a simple phrase: Thank you. Thank you. There is so much to be thankful for in life. It’s hard to believe that when we sit here and mourn our loss and realize that there is a real finality to today. But let me share my thanks with all of you. My life has been blessed immensely by my assignment to Epiphany. To all of you I say, Thank you. Every time I celebrate Mass I think of the people, experiences and life of this parish that make me proud to be here today, at this time. We are called to be people of thanksgiving. For eternity to thank Jesus, today we are called to practice that with one another. I am thankful to Bishop Rick Stika, then Monsignor who recommended that I be assigned here. I am thankful for Sharon Morganthaler who called me in June of 2004 all nervous about the prospects of a new pastor and amazed at how young I was.

To all of our staff, I am profoundly thankful for your witness of faith during our time together at Epiphany. I could not ask for a more dedicated and generous group of co-workers in the parish. To our parents & students, remember all of our staff. These last few years have been made possible through their sacrifices and commitment to you. There is so much to be thankful for at Epiphany. I know it has not been easy, I know there were times of high stress and uncertainty about the future, but your sacrifices gave us so much. Do not let today and the experiences of this past year overshadow what is at the heart of your ministry and commitment. Lives of generous service. Sin would have us all believe that our efforts were in vain because we could not avoid closing. Beware of that sin, don’t let it take root in our thoughts and bear bad fruit. It will rob of us our strength and poison our memories. I know it may be difficult to do today, but think of all the things you are thankful for in life. Remember all the ways that God has blessed you.

To our parents, parishioners and alumni, you have my thanks for the support and commitment you have made to our school over the years. For your desires to have our children educated and formed in the faith, you have my thanks & gratitude. Two of the greatest gifts you provide to our children are faith and education. Both have the power to change our lives. Both are rooted in the present, mindful of the past and oriented toward the future. If these children and all those who have preceded them for the last 98 years accepted and used those two gifts, they and the world are better for it.

To our students, I am so thankful for you presence in my life and priesthood. You help keep my young as I become more and more aware of my age. I look forward to seeing where Jesus will lead you and how the Holy Spirit will use you to make all of us better by your presence. I know I nag at times, and you older students know my favorite nagging topics, and by the way, I am not sorry for those. I nag because I care and I pay attention to you because you matter to me. I hope I have balanced those nagging moments with recognition of the good you do, and there is so much good that you do.

May all of us think of the people, experiences and things we are thankful for in life and make that thanks known. It’s OK to weep and at the same time be thankful. Many of our tears today come from those experiences and individuals who have blessed us, who have made us better people. What better tribute to our gratitude than our tears. We are sad to lose something that has brought us so much pride and joy over their years. We are sad to see a community united by a common purpose of education disperse and be led on different paths by the Spirit. Thank you. Those words should roll off our tongue with little effort. They should take root in our heart and permeate our actions. Thank you.

Finally, accompanying that expression of thanks is the most important thing we say to Jesus. Jack Shahuri, if you are out there, what is the answer? LOVE.

I love you. For eternity we will experience the meaning of that with God and all the Redeemed. What that is like, we haven’t the foggiest idea to be honest. When I get a glimpse of Jesus' love for me, I am overwhelmed. The love of Christ is so powerful, so beautiful and so real. I complain to Him so often and too often complain about Him to His face and yet He still loves me, you, all of us. I am surprised by that love again and again in my life. That surprise is what really led me to priesthood and here. I pray it always guides my life.

I love you. Those words should be spoken often and sincerely. Not some exaggerated statement or forced by compulsion. Not even said looking for a response, but said because we want to say it, because it reveals our heart and speaks the truth. I love you, not easy to say because it is accompanied by vulnerability and immense trust. We don’t like being vulnerable, and we have been disappointed & hurt by trust. But we are called to love. Love one another as I have loved you are the words seared upon our hearts if we are true disciples. Crosses everywhere remind us of what that phrase really means. To love like that is the goal we strive to make our own. That type of love is something far greater than our feelings of affection, any thoughts of romance and deeper than the most personal friendship.

I love you. To our students, I hope you know how much I love and how much joy you bring to my life. All of my goofy little nick names, my funny expressions and all the things that I do for a laugh are an expression of that love for you.

To our staff, with all of my admiration and gratitude for the gift you are to Epiphany, I hope you know of my love for each of you. What I say for the students, applies double for you. My quirky little traits, my humorous expressions and little rituals that are part of my weirdness are all done for love and a smile. Life is too short not to laugh, and there is plenty to cry about today and any day. I don’t deny the sorrow, but I prefer the laughter. No day is wasted on which you laugh. There is a real fondness I will carry in my heart for years because of the love we have shared in our work here. The sorrow that fills us today was created by the space love enlarged in our hearts. That is not a bad thing, just difficult. Difficult is OK, that is why we are here to support one another. I love you; say those words often and with meaning. If we can express those words with frequency and sincerity to the people who are important in our lives we will have few regrets at the end of life.

I know this homily is long, but I have just a few closing comments. There is a temptation to think of the “glory days” as something behind us. The school and parish were at their peak in the 1960’s and it is tempting to think of those days truly as the good old days. Nothing wrong with sentiments for the past and a longing for things that time has changed, but as people of faith we always believe that good old days are yet to come. Only the fulfillment of the future is our true glory. That moment of seeing Jesus Christ face to face is the fulfillment we all long for as a people of faith. That truth applies to us individually and collectively. Our best days are before us, not behind us. Beware of the temptation to identify the past as some golden time because we were larger or had different concerns. For people of faith, the future is always leading us to fulfillment. Remember the past and cherish it, but live in the present and work for the future.

I want to say a special word of thanks to our Transition Team and its members as well as all those who have served on past School Boards. You have been outstanding parishioners and staff to work beside in the effort to serve our school. These last six years have not been easy, from the Deanery Study that was concluding when I was transferred here, to the direct appeal and launch of Epiphany Forever to last year’s flourish of meetings to look at possible ways to preserve the school. It has been a rough ride, but I hope a meaningful one. I want to commend you on working with me to look at various alternatives and as those choices became increasingly out of reach for having the courage to face this last year with its tough decisions. The news is full of daily headlines of people or corporations who forfeit their responsibility, and live as if problems can be magically cured by ignoring them. People who expect others to pick up the pieces or pay the bills when their neglect caused the disaster. We should take pride that we did not go down that path. We have been good stewards, and that is what Jesus is asking of us.

As our Gospel encourages this morning, let us turn to Jesus to find rest in His company.